Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Happy Teen



Learn to support your youths self-esteem so they are happy, have self-love and confidence.



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myhappyteen.com - youth parenting teens confidence self-esteem



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Click play for a small sample of just a sliver of what you'll learn with Michael Eisen, Hay House Author & International Speaker...
Here's a breakdown of just a sliver of what you'll learn...
Module 1: Listen to Understand,

NOT

to Respond
Most people on this planet have the desire to be understood. I believe that this desire is at its peak in your teenage years. A big component of being understood is feeling like you are heard, and, unfortunately, the majority of people on this planet listen to respond instead of to understand.
Listening to respond

is something that the majority of human beings practice on a daily basis. We selectively listen to what the other person is saying, trying to pick out key words or phrases, so we can feel comfortable enough to formulate a response. We even interrupt the flow of the person’s sharing by asking questions, so we can ease our own discomfort of not being able to respond when they are done sharing.

The more active our minds are during this process, the harder it becomes to understand the other person.
On the other hand,

listening to understand

is the practice of being fully present with the other person when they are talking/sharing with you. It involves turning off the voice in your head, holding your questions until the person has finished talking, and letting go of the desire to

have

to respond. Most teenagers just want to vent and feel like their voice has been heard. By practicing more conscious listening—with the intent to understand who is speaking to you—you hold a safe and comfortable space for that person to share more freely and openly.

Module 2: Share Your Experiences
One of the greatest ways to fast track to a more conscious, open, and supportive relationship with a teenager is to share your own personal experiences and stories. Teenagers need to feel like they can relate to you, and, unfortunately, if there is a big age gap, they immediately assume that you don’t remember what it was like to be their age. That is one of the biggest advantages that I have when I work with teens through my organization YWN, I am close enough to their age that there is an instant relate-ability. The best way to overcome the age/generation gap is to openly share your own experiences from when you were their age. However, the most important thing is your intention behind sharing.

Remember: freedom and independence are the top two values for most teens, so try not to push your fears onto them through your stories, or it will have an adverse effect.
Module 3: Create Boundaries,

NOT

Limitations
A lot of people ask me how to find a balance between giving teens the freedom they long for and protecting them from experiencing potential harm or danger. Unfortunately, there is no formula that works in every situation, but one thing my dad did with me that was quite effective was creating boundaries instead of limitations. There is a difference between telling someone what they can and cannot do versus stating your expectations, creating consequences if they are not met, and allowing them to make the choice for themselves.
A teenager needs to feel the freedom of making their own choices.
This can definitely be difficult at times when it comes to parenting, teaching, or working with a teenager in any capacity. Laying down the law is a form of taking away their freedom of choice, so, in most cases, creates rebellion.

Instead, try clearly stating your expectations, communicating what the consequences will be if the expectations are not met—share your own experiences that allow them to understand your expectations—and let them choose what to do.

Ultimately, this is the only way they are going to learn the power of their own choices. Sometimes, they need to choose the hard way to learn the most valuable lessons. No matter what you do, you can’t prevent them from doing so. At least this way you can maintain a better relationship with them, as they will blame you less often and begin to take some personal responsibility for their actions.
And more...
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